Sunday, June 26, 2005

Why is it always 'inner' demons ? Who has 'outer' demons ?????

Thursday, June 23, 2005


is there anyone who doesn't like jamaica ginger cake ? i don't think i have ever met anyone who doesn't appreciate it. i wonder just how jamaican it is though ?

and another thing! is there anyone out there who remembers the kids' tv series 'chocky' ? it featured a boy who could see and hear an alien called chocky. it was very scary and fantastic. it was far too good for me to have just made up and yet no-one i know seems to have seen it. i did spend a lot of time watching tv as a kid though...

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Why can't I do small talk ? It is an embarrassing disability. I have tried to learn it and I can fake it a good amount of the time now. But I have just been out to post a paperletter and I met our neighbour. The only sentence I said was 'Yes, it's great' in response to her 'It's a nice day isn't it ?'. Everything else I said was either a 'yes' or 'no'.

'Are you out for a walk ?'
It's nice to get out on your own, isn't it?'

That sort of thing.

ARGH !!!!!

If I'd had a few minutes (and possibly a pint) between questions I'm sure I could have said something friendly and neighbourly, possibly witty and interesting even. But as it is I merely appeared as a limp-brained, letter-posting automaton*. Sooner or later the 'I've just had a baby' excuse is going to run out and what then, I ask you???? WHAT THEN???????

*Automatons. Do they have brains ?

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Here are two things from the world of science that evade my understanding (there are many):

1. Mirrors. How do they work then ? I mean, how. the. heck. do. they. work? They can see round corners and everything. Do they only reflect what I can see ? Or do they reflect everything ? When my cat's looking in the mirror and I'm looking at him in it from another angle are there two cats in the mirror ? How does that work ?!

2. Circles. How do we really know the earth is a sphere ? OK we know it's not flat. And we know it's not a square. And some people in a space ship saw it one time and it appears to be round (and also blue, and there's nothing we can do...). But completely spherical ? Come on ! Have you ever tried to draw a circle without using a cup ? It's bloody difficult ! And how do they get footballs to be a sphere ? (A cup is probably used at some point in their manufacture.... but then, what about cups ?)

My daughter is trying to see what will happen if she swallows her sock. I guess scientific curiosity runs in the family.

Monday, June 13, 2005

I miss paper :(

Last week in my mother's roofspace I found a bag of letters from years ago. Some were very funny. Some a bit dull. Some from people who I couldn't remember at all. I had several letters from someone called 'Alan' and for ages I sat there wondering who on earth Alan might be. The letters didn't give much of a clue. They were all about fantasy books, orks and whatnot, and rock music. So that narrowed it down to just about everyone I met at University then.

Then I remembered Alan. He was someone I'd met at university after all. He had told me on first meeting that he thought I'd be quite attractive if I lost some weight. Having registered my offence he went into hyperapologetic mode. I actually think he might have been autistic to some degree as not many people would say something like that (although I fear many think it) and truly believe it is a compliment. Anyway. I lied and said it was fine and we forged a whole friendship (apparently- since all I can remember about him was his doomed chat up line) based on this lie.

Wow. I'd almost blotted it all out. Must try harder next time.

I do miss paper though. Despite having cursed it all day as I stuck many maaaaany layers of Christmas wrapping paper to the windows of our bedroom (Ana now wakes with the dawn at 5am, blackout curtains are too expensive, in fact black cardboard is beyond our budget at the minute). Let's start a revolution ! Write me a paper letter and I'll write you one back ! We can be like, pen buddies, or whatever they used to be called. I'll give you my address if you email me. Well, the revolution can always start tomorrow, can't it?


Monday, June 06, 2005

Well, we set fire to the microwave yesterday. Not on purpose mind you. It somehow happened involving a cheap gas lighter (one of the 'five ferapoun'' variety). I still don't understand what exactly happened but it all went up in flames anyway. Luckily my husband was around to prevent me throwing water at the microwave (I am still pleading birthing-induced insanity in such cases) and we (he)rescued the family from the inferno by putting the melting lighter outside. Scary.

Meanwhile the papers are having a go at Bob Geldof for trying to save the world. Yes, that's right, rich white men angry because other rich white men are trying to help the poor. Makes you wonder. The other day I had to turn off the radio when a (respected) presenter asked people to phone in and get angry over pop stars telling us what to do. 'Why don't they give their millions instead of asking us to do stuff?' he was asking.

Amazing. It's as if having millions precludes you from freedom of speech. Don't say anything that might make you look 'worthy' ! You might look very uncool ! And now they've discovered that the Live8 line up is mostly white. Horrors ! You mean to say that the music industry is so segregated that the world's top acts are white ?! (And mostly male ?! And mostly heterosexual ?! And able bodied ?!) Well, I think we should all blame BOB GELDOF for that !! For goodness sake. Isn't his point just that; about the world being a very divided place ? So, he's not going to change the music industry, I guess that means he's not allowed to do anything with a hint of the dreaded 'worthiness' about it. Bloody hell, he's almost as bad as that Jamie Oliver.

Have celebs use their clout to represent us ? No thanks, we'd rather die. But why go that far when we can avoid the whole messy issue by letting loads of Africans die instead.